August 2005

I’m supposedly a liberal, a middle of the line one, but a liberal.

I don’t think abortion should be outlawed, ( though I have some restrictions in mind) I just couldn’t do it myself.

And while I don’t believe John Roberts is our best choice to replace the often outspoken, sometimes too forceful, Sandra Day O’Conner, I do have a sympathy with him over one thing.

Adoption Records

Adoption, Ideally, is the way for a person to say, I created this life, but I am unable, or unwilling to see to it’s raising. Rather than kill it, let me perhaps find it a home. My mother was an adoptee, as was my husbands grandfather. Maybe I have a personal interest in this.

Roberts and his wife, for whatever reason, never concieved on thier own, so instead, they decided to pool thier wealth for a good cause and rescue a child or two, that had been left in the hands of an orginization.

Adoptions come in a few different catagories.
Abandonment, where the origin of the parents are completely unknown.
State funded. This became popular during the world wars, since soldiers made promises they were often unable to keep.
And Private, where a woman chooses they parents and they make up a legal contract, lining out thier choices, wishes and decisions.

My mother was state funded, her mother was in love with a soldier who promised to return, we don’t know if he was killed, or chose not too, we don’t even know thier names.

Usually in an adoption, the birth parent(s) can decide if they want to be anonymous and never contacted, in this case, the medical records are kept, but no other identifying information. ( Though that trend began later in the adoption history) but generally, adoption records are kept completely sealed until litigation of the last 20yrs or so began to worm it’s way into things.

Some adoptions are done with open knowledge between the adoptive and birth parents, but contact is forbidden, and some are even open to the point of shared contact with the children.

All of these are extremely personal decisions.

Now a news paper wants to dig through these records, maybe they intend to find the birth parents, hoping they’re all strung out on drugs or something and get them to say all puppetlike, how the Roberts family bulied them, lied to them, stole thier children with fancy worded legal documents….. Perhaps that’s the case… but I somehow doubt it.

If this were the case, I don’t think an american politician would be stupid enough to leave this hole wide open for attack.

More than likely, the parent(s) of the children, had some very tough, heart breaking decisions to make, as a parent, the idea of giving up my child brings me to tears just sitting here, but then, I’ve been fortunate to be able to struggle onwards with Poppa and make a good life for her, I’ve never had to face her going hungry, or homeless, I’ve never had to see that kind of sacrifice as my only option for her well being. ( Though I’ve considered selling her to the gypsies a few times during which she’s done everything to convince me I’d be saner for having done so) I’ve never known the loss, even figuratively of my only born. So saying that, I cannot imagine the strength, the courage, and the love it would take to do such a thing and keep on living, to go on to create a life for myself, perhaps a new family, even if I knew my child had been given a golden opprotunity in a life I could never have given her.

While Roberts himself shall be crucified on the cross of public opinion, his children and they’re shadowy parents do not deserve the same.

Imagine, intellectually knowing mom and dad were not the ones who’d given birth to you, but being able to catalog that knowledge as impersonally as you would knowing that you had brown hair ( outside of my rant about men and norms) It’s just a fact, but not an important one, because mom and dad were the ones who kissed you goodnight, who spent long hours beside your bedside while you puked when you had the flu, who faced the angry teacher after you started a foodfight in the cafeteria.

And then, late in your life, suddenly, across the news, your ‘real’ parents faces flash.

How do you feel? Does your stomach tighten in a childlike fear that these people are going to take you away? Do you, in the back of your mind, wonder what they’re like? Do you feel anger at they’re abandonment of you, something perhaps you’d never have thought of before now?


Does the media have the right to do this to your personal life? your mental well being?

The New York Times thinks it does.

And as for the parents of these children, those sacrificing people who gave thier children to a better opprotunity than they could have provided.

Do you feel like fugitives to be questioned over some crime? Do you feel elation perhaps at being recognized?

Chances are, knowing American Media and politics, you feel the former.

Of course I could be wrong, perhaps your the bad type of parent, the one who would love the glory, gory and money you’ll be paid for interviews.

Then again, if that’s the case, you didn’t deserve the little darlings anyhow, imagine the kind of kids they’d be if you were in charge.

Truthfully though I don’t know the parents, either side of them, maybe the Roberts aren’t lilly white in thier adoption dealings, maybe the birth parents were bullied into giving up thier children,… if so though, don’t you think by now something would have come to light? And do you really want a local liberal rag being able to go that far into your private history, just to sell a few more copies? As one blogger pointed out :

New York Times Investigates Adoption Records of John Roberts Children
Posted by Steve Verdon at 13:36

Well it looks like the New York Times is taking its cues from the Daily Kos. Drudge is reporting that the New York Times is investigating the adoption records of John Roberts. I have to pause and wonder…did the New York Times do any investigation into Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg children? Or what about Justice Stephen G. Breyer? If this really is “routine” as the New York Times suggests then the answer must be yes. Does anybody know if this was the case? If the answer is no, I can’t help but think that politics is playing a role here.

Well said.

My friend BB has been obsessed with this theory recently, that men are completey stuck on the societal norm of the ultra slim female.

At first glance I was inclined to agree with her, but then I did some thinking, remembering and backtracking.

I recall a study, a year or so ago, that said more then 80% of men, actually preferred brunettes, or darker colored hair to blondes for a lasting relationship. Having thought of that study I began to question the truth of the ‘norms’ as she put them. Did men make the norms? or did women do it out of thier usually subconcious nature to one up each other?

Think about it?

Most women are born with darker hair than the Cali sunbleached blonde, and most women, are generally plump, rounded and sensually built according to the greek ideology of women. So why is it that that ‘norm’ seems to be passed over in favour of blonds with tans and hip bones protruding from thier midsections?

I could be a man hating, blame passing woman and say it’s all mens fault, but I’m beginning to think that may be not true, I think somewhere in our primitive history, the only reason a man looked at a thin blonde like that was because it was different than what he saw at home. Different doesn’t translate to better! But cavewoman A, must have gotten jealous of this, as we all do when we percieve the attention drifting from us, and she probably began her campaign by henpecking with her other friends at the morning hide stripping circle, alienating the visitor based upon looks alone. Not only did she most likely get the rumor mill going, she probably nagged her man about it in her most derisive grunting tones, making him want to avoid her presence, and our blond girl? Hell she probably was lonely being in a new place and trying to make friends, but since the women wouldnt talk to her, she talked to the guys, immediantly branding herself a slut, an evil creature. So Cavewoman A becomes bitter, and her daughter, as she grows up, see’s the blonde adult getting attention, and her mother getting none, she decides, in order to get dragged off to the cave of her dreams, she’s going to emulate the popular one.

So with a bit of ammonia, distilled from urine, she bleaches her hair, and with a bit of careful not eating, she denies her body the usual fat stores her people need to survive, making herself weak, which of course attracts a certain kind of man, looking to be a hero.

Now the other girls see this, and maybe they’re not able or aware of the methods to make themselves look like her, but they ARE aware of the attention she gets, and the cycle repeats, and repeats, and …..

We come to the middle of the road of our history, Greek and Roman times. Disease has shown the weaknesses of being thin.By now cultures have merged into different lines of thinking, the Greeks and the Romans, led by women, even if men hold the official seats of power, must have had some forward thinking matronly woman who influenced them in the beginning, maybe her arms were fleshly rounded, perhaps her breasts had suckled children and hung down near her belly button,… But she was strong, intelligent, could set a good table, and earthy enough to be fun for a roll in the furs.

Then Marc Antony goes and screws Cleopatra and all hell breaks loose again, dark women are seen as evil, exotic, but evil, greek women don’t want to be associated with that!! But it’s not until the friendly viking raids they’re reminded of the honey wheat blond thats tall and thin,… so very different from what men see at home,… Not better,… just different.

Of course, roman society collapsed in upon itself so that should give you a hint.

And up the road we go, to what we know as modern society. Men of course, are instant gratification based, in general, what they see they understand, modern cosmetics have shown women how to put obvious work into thier appearance, even if they can’t boil water, which makes most, I say most, men, feel special, that lady love has done work for them, to make themselves attractive for them. And of course, if they do pick the dark plump woman, history has passed down that bitter bitchiness towards the blonde. What man wouldn’t go to the bar at night to escape that, rather than be mired in it?

So women, we have to realize, these ‘norms’ our men supposedly flock too, are mostly of our own creation. We’ve told them for centuries that the blond is prettier, nicer, …. we’ve shoved it down thier throats.

Men, we love you, but they aren’t bright enough to see it for themselves. Not on the surface at least.

However, my friend/enemy Rob, one of the worst womanizing ghetto wiggers I’ve ever known, paid me a compliment in his own way.

We were discussing our friends and thier ladies, and he pointed out that Poppa and I worked out, because I wasn’t the ‘trophy wife’ the others had picked when looking for a wife or girlfriend. ” Your not one of the knockouts, that’s what makes you a good woman”

I think he was trying to say, that since I don’t stress over the outward, but instead put my efforts into setting a good table, keeping my house clean, and keeping my husband deliriously happy with all the little things I do, I was a better woman than those scrawny stupid money grubbing blondes, our other friends had tied themselves to.

See even I’m not immune from the generations old hatred.

So here’s my next rant,….

Remember when I stated me and Poppa Bear’s income? A whopping 2700 a month, if we’re lucky and get the hours, that’s before taxes,

Supposedly, this comes out to 32000 a year, before taxes,….

Trust me… it doesn’t come that way on the paycheck

So Matt Blunt, Missouri’s excellent right wing prick governor, looks to cut the budget, a well and right aim for a politician, but he raises his pay, and all the other fat fuck politicians in our state government, yet again,…

So where does he cut? What unnecessary baggage gets removed from the budget? What frivolity does he ferociously attack to achieve his goal?

State Health Insurance.

Poppa and I don’t have health insurance, we can’t afford it through our work and have a hard time finding a plan that we can. But we striven hard to put our child into insurance one way or another and finally had to use state insurance to keep her going.

Thanks to Blunt’s bright idea of Missouri Senate Bill 539, we’re no longer eligible for medicaid without paying nearly 100 dollars, a month.

Now, I can deal with not having my own health insurance,… I’m a big girl, I know when I’m actually sick or not


This stupid fat cat now has my daughters health in a bottle that he’s tossed into the flames,…. Poof,… there it goes and there’s nothing we can do about it. Even if we tried to pay the fees, they’re tacking on co-pays and other fee’s now,… Why? Because minimum wage is low, prices are high and our society has gone to hell,… and those who don’t indebt themselves, who don’t walk around with thier hands out, those who actually work and try and raise a family,…. we’re out of luck.

So thanks a lot Matt Blunt, when it comes time for my daughters next round of allergy meds, I’ll tell the doc to mail your ass the bill you stupid son of a bitch who deserves a fucking impeachment for the hell your putting us through, you right wing conservative bush ball sucking sack of shit.

So me and Poppa Bear have been together for 7 years, which in todays day and age,…. is a long time. And up until now, we’ve always rented our abodes, be it our first apartment from hell, or the houses that we wished we could have bought.

Now, when we moved into our current home, we did alot of talking first. I mean… a trailer? We’d spent all our married lives trying to go above and beyond the places our parents had raised us in due to thier mismanagement of money. When we finally decided to go looking, it was with the idea that we’d find one, go in to buy it, and once it was paid, sell it off and finally have that elusive lump sum to use as a downpayment on a real house. Seemed like a very intelligent way to handle our money, sure, it would take time and work, but we liked that. We would be living within our means without tying an anchor to our necks.

Eventually we found a place we felt we could handle, a nice 3 bedroom , built in 1999 ( no more scary 70’s and 80’s metal crackerboxes) vinyl siding, 2 bathrooms, monsterous tub, walkin closet in the master,.. all around a good deal. The place we would be living had a rent to own set up, a portion of our rent would go into an escrow account, and that would be the downpayment on the trailer, in les than 2 years, we had gained over 3,000$ (usd) . Then, the lending company called, offering us a full mortgage for the place,…. a place only worth about 20,000USD. Sounds good? Nah, a 15 year mortgage, during which our land rent continues to rise by about 15 dollars a year, this breaks down like this, our house payments = about 200 a month, currently our land rent is 333 dollars, add 15 bucks a year, and we’re looking at paying well over 500 dollars a month, just for this little piece of yard we have at the end, and then add our housepayments on top of it.

The average mortgage here for a house, with yard, is 30yrs, and we’re talking houses in the 90,000 range and up,with nearly the same kind of payments we’d be paying for the house and land here. and during that time you can refinance, borrow against, and other things, none of those are options here.

So Poppa and I got to thinking real hard, and decided maybe it was time to go for a real house, we’re not evil picky, 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, a basement, and a yard. Away we went to the bank, we have no bad debt, no credit cards outstanding,… nothing, just his student loan which is paid current.

Turns out, our lovely bankers don’t really want us, we’re a no risk, no gain income, they can’t expect us to fail and go bankrupt so they can reap the benefits, nor are we the kind to go for a house so expensive they gain lucrative fees and charges for it.

And thanks to the housing market boom, houses that would have normally fallen in our price range, houses that needed a bit of paint, or had some old disco ugly carpet and a slightly sagging front porch…. are now at least 15,000 out of our modest price range of 75,000

This bubble is killing the honest person, if we had 3 credit cards, and were using one to pay off the other and just making minimum payments on one of them, so on paper it all looked paid up ( when in truth it would be slowly mounting outrageous interest and fee’s) We’d look better to the bank, Makes perfect capitalistic society sense huh?

Poppa and I make maybe 25,000 a year and we’ve made our home a modest success for it, good food, noone goes hungry, yes we’ve had help, family members ( his grandma is a garage sale queen, which is awesome for 15 bucks she usually outfits the lil miss for a year in kids clothes) bargain shopping, serious budgeting,…. and yet, we can’t move a head, even in the slightest bit.

We’re stuck, we can’t own our own home unless we want to move to the inner city slums ( which I can’t do, I know how easy it is growing up in those places to become like the people who don’t care and I’d rather not risk my daughter that blindly) or try and reach well beyond our means for a house that’s going to be a nightmare.

We see our American Dream, fall into the hands of people much less responsible,… and we wonder why?

To Be Continued: